Greeting the Bearer of Bad News

I went to a party tonight. It was one of those small, not a lot of people, everyone speaks to everyone else at somepoint in the night, type parties. It was a "cosy" party. It was the type of party where people get to know each other, rather than huddling with the people they already know. It was the type of party where you suddenly discover that the girl you like got a boyfriend over the summer

Yeah. That happened to me. I'd decided this year that I was going to be more outgoing, especially with regards to this girl. You know what I mean. This was the year that I was actually going to gather my courage and ask her out sometime. She's actually one of two girls that I've liked from the first time I met them. The other is currently not interested in dating, although that won't necessarily stop me from trying - I've known lots of people say that and end up with a partner by the end of the month. But she's not the point of this article.

The point of the article is a girl called M. Not the lady who gives James Bond his missions, but a rather sweet young woman on my uni course. I'm not using her full name in case someone who knows her reads this. Of course, if she read it herself she would know I'm talking about her, but that's life...

The Projection of False Identities onto Internet Friends.

Have you ever met someone online, who you've never met in real-life?

For some of you, the answer is no. But if you're the kind of person that managed to find this blog, then the chances are that you have at least one online friend. But how much do you really know them?

Talking online every day for a month can make you feel that you know them, like you know them better than anyone else possibly could. But of course, you know that they know barely anything about you. In fact at some point you've probably discussed the dangers of online friendships, how either of you could be some wierdo that we hear so much about in the media. But you know you aren't (at least, I would hope so).

A brief stint of online chat with somoene gives us a false impression, one that is very often completely different from the real-life person. I know, for example, that I am much more confident, much more talkative online than I am in real-life. I'm more risqué over email than I might be face-to-face. I'm much shyer in person than I am over IM. It stands to reason that they are different too. Perhaps not all of them. Possibly I'm the only one. But I doubt it...